Things I have been chased by...

My family has a fine tradition of being chased by various animals and I continue to follow in their footsteps. Here is a list of animals that I have been chased by:

• Geese.
• A monstrously huge turkey in Russia. (One of my aunts was continually chased by turkeys on her parents' farm.)
  
• I was also semi-attacked by an army of fish in Russia.
• I've been menacingly stalked by goats. (An uncle was always butted by sheep on his parents' farm.)
  
• I've had horses, many horses, try to eat my feet.
• I've been dive bombed by my pet parakeet. (She took a chunk out of my cousin's thumb.)
  
• Pooped on by a bird. (But my mom holds the record for most times pooped on.)
• Licked by a giraffe. (Petting zoos are evil.)
• Chased by a dog.
• Harrassed by a squirrel. (Well, the squirrel was mostly taunting my cat.)
• Slapped on the head by my cat while daring to sleep.
• Swarmed by many, many different bugs. (Your children will never get a mosquito bite with me around!)

I'm sure there were more, but those are the only ones I can recall at the moment.